Indiana Jones and The Ridicously Long Winded Title For A Sequel 19 years Late

[Jake Steel]

Hey everyone, the new Indiana Jones came out last week state side, and I had just viewed this awesome spectacle at the theaters. I don't know how anyone else feels about Indiana Jones, but stateside, everyone I know loves it. It's does have a 'america rules, apple pie is the best food ever, and anyone-who-gets-in-our-way-gets-in-our-way-gets-slapped-around-like-a-little-girl' mentality, but state side, we eat this stuff up.

Well, any who, to make a long story short, Indiana Jones has to stop the Russians from getting some magical skull that gives you magical powers Yadda Yadda. That was kind of the weak part of the film. The plot really thinned at the end. Shia Cant-Spell-His-Last-Name and Bob Dylan... I mean Cate Blanchett Costar with good old Harry. I recommend this film to anyone who likes a good old adventure. begin to discuss.

[Farvana]

Shia LeBouf? I know a lot of people hate him. I didn't mind him.

I didn't think it was amazing, but it was enjoyable. Beating up commies isn't nearly as satisfying as punching Nazis. Crystal Skulls aren't nearly as cool as holy grails or arks. And There was far too little globe trotting.

Also, Indy surviving a nuke is sort of ridiculous.

[Jake Steel]

Indy surviving a nuke is sort of ridiculous.

If the Simpson's could do it, so could Indiana Jones.

[Poisonedv]

I'm a socialist.

But I saw it, it was good but really became shit. When it proverbially fucked itself, or 'jumped the shark' was when the kid started swinging on the vines. Is this the latest Jim Carry movie, or a fun action adventure?

[Dan]

I'm a socialist.

But I saw it, it was good but really became shit. When it proverbially fucked itself, or 'jumped the shark and went careening right into a bubbling lake of shit' was when the kid started swinging on the vines. Is this the latest Jim Carry movie, or a fun action adventure?

I fixed that up for you.

I mean, for Chrissakes, what the fuck were they thinking? And the gophers? The fucking gophers? GOD.

The thing is, it isn't a bad movie - it just has a number of really, really bad bits in it. I still liked it, but there's no way I'll see it again.

[Usernamehere]

Am I the only one who noticed that Mutt is a sort of dog, and Indiana was Henry Jones Junior's dog? They prefer dog names to their own..



Haha, Fido Jones and the waterbowl of doom, or something.

[Jake Steel]

You know, I've been wondering who jumped the shark on his part though. Gorge or Stephen. I mean, George kind of lost any respectability Star Wars had left the second that fucking Gungun rolled on screen (don't get me wrong, I enjoy the prequel series and all, but it just lost novelty wore thin quickly), but then, Indiana Jones was really left in Spielberg's hands

[Dan]

Lucas wrote it - and given his penchant for HEE-LARIOUS shit like Jar Jar Binks and Ewoks, I think it's pretty certain that he was responsible for most of the bad bits. Spielberg can be pretty hacky, but not "swinging through the forest with CG monkeys" hacky.

[Ryuichi Naruhodo]

I thought it was funny when the ewok stole the speeder from an imperial guard...

I may be wrong, but I thought the vine-swingin' scene only amounted to one or two minutes. It didn't seem like a significant hinderance on the movie people make it out to be.

*spoilers below*

The most common complaint I hear from people is "it has aliens", which seems to be missing the point as they have the same function as the Ark or the Grail. It's not like they jumped on ship and started battling the aliens. I have heard the complaint that the secondary characters aren't quite devoloped, which is legitimate, but then again I'm not sure what they were expecting going into an Indy film.

[MooseGuy]

The most common complaint I've heard about this movie is that Indiana Jones surviving the nuke was too hard to believe.

However, these people are forgetting that Indiana Jones, much like Batman and the fictionalised version of Chuck Norris, can survive ANYTHING.

For example, if a Nazi/Communist/Thuggee/whatever holds a perfectly working and loaded gun up to the head a restrained Indiana Jones in a locked bomb-proof shelter, and the bullet was already in Indy's brain, Indiana Jones could STILL dodge the bullet.

[rhystuck]

Well I finally saw this movie, and I liked it. Although when I found out it had aliens, I was hoping that Indiana Jones would be taken to a Galaxy far far away, given reverse-aging drugs, and take up spice smuggling.

Apparently communists have been highly offended by this movie, being the bad guys and all, but I'm not that concerned about what communists think.

[Poisonedv]

Well I finally saw this movie, and I liked it. Although when I found out it had aliens, I was hoping that Indiana Jones would be taken to a Galaxy far far away, given reverse-aging drugs, and take up spice smuggling.

Apparently communists have been highly offended by this movie, being the bad guys and all, but I'm not that concerned about what communists think.

Borris will be paying you a visit...

СОВЕТСКАЯ ЖИЗНЬ

[Kaatridge]

Borris will be paying you a visit...

СОВЕТСКАЯ ЖИЗНЬ

What the fuck.

[Aahmyface2]

Just like the nuclear blast surviving and the monkey-swingin shit, this pissed me off. But for some reason, this pissed me off way more. I hate the bit where the car lands on the branch and lowers into the water, I mean what the fuck. I could barely finish the movie after that scene.

[Kaatridge]

Aliens what the fuck.

[OrphanTrain]

Actually, from what I know about nuclear blasts (ie. the amount of information you could fit on a golf ball), the explosion isn't really the err... unsurvivable part, that is to say, if you're in a big ol' 1950's era steel refrigerator. But yeah, now Indy probably has cancer or something.

And the monkey thing sucked, but I seem to remember it sucking less when I was watching the movie than when I was looking back on it.

[Reasonableman]

Something about the whole "aliens did it!" plot kinda rubbed me the wrong way, but that wasn't the main problem I had with the movie. It's just that I always loved the Indy movies because they had the element of realism that having been filmed with puppets and real explosions gives movies. The most incredible experience I have ever had watching a movie was when I watched Tora! Tora! Tora! The whole thing had not one CG element in it (for obvious reasons,) and the stunts in it just blew me away. I mean, planes were taking off down the runway with guys not ten feet away and they would FREAKING EXPLODE, and the propeller would spin off and come not three feet from this random extra. And they didn't reuse explosions, either; they actually blew up some ridiculously huge number of planes for this movie, and it looked to me like each and every one of them had a person near enough to the blast to be severely injured by shrapnel. That's the kind of realism that's missing from today's movies.

[Soyvoyage]

That's the kind of realism that's not possible because of workplace health & safety, unfortunately.
Whatever happened to the good old days? (somwhere around 1814) You could take 100 men on expedition, only come back with 10 and be regarded heroes! I suppose it has something to do with present glory seekers being able to tell less convincing stories (and books! remember them?).

[Ryuichi Naruhodo]

So what you're saying is not enough people are risking their lives for film?

[Soyvoyage]

I suppose there is a bit of a fine line there. It is realistic enough if someone gets some shrapnel embedded in their head, but when 30 guys then rush in with cameras phoning for the ambulance the realism is lost.

[Captain Awful]

Aliens are cool, but inter-dimensional aliens? Seriously? What, does Lucas now condone something as farfetched as parallel dimensions? Lame as the bum I give money to.

[Blue Milk]

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Well, the reasons I found the movie quite stupid was that Native Indians still lived in some hidden temple with no sign of farms, homes or anything that you need to sustain over 100 people.

Then Indy and his crew run through and they chase them and theres like a hundred.

Then a few Russians come in afterwards and KILL THEM ALL.

Then there's that trap thing where they have to get down before the platforms get pushed in. They go in and then the trap apparently knows when to go back out again.

Yeah that and when Indy gets hit by the nuke, the people in radioactive suits like wash him and he's supposedly alright...

I also never knew Ants carry humans into their nests... Pretty scary ants

Oh yeah, pretty funny how the Russian leader women gets vaporised for "knowing everything".

[Kaatridge]

Spoiler tags

[Usernamehere]

3 was the best. There was no four.

[Reasonableman]

Once you have Sean Connery in a movie, no movie after it can exceed the previous movie's awesomeness, unless it has Sean Connery in it again. It's just a law of physics or something.

[Soyvoyage]

Once you have Sean Connery in a movie, no movie after it can exceed the previous movie's awesomeness, unless it has Sean Connery in it again. It's just a law of physics or something.
No more League of extrordinary gentlemen then.

The spirit of Indiana Jones speaks on the new movie; "I have no sequel."

[Kaatridge]

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Spoiler TAGS

[Ryuichi Naruhodo]

Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm pretty sure Aliens are more believable than MAGIC.

[Poisonedv]

I AM SO KNOWLEDGEABLE I EXPLODE

AGURK GAK GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Captain Awful]

Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm pretty sure Aliens are more believable than MAGIC.

Yes, you're crazy. It wasn't really magic you know, it was God, and then there was some magic. I think the real question is, what the hell were the aliens doing there?

[Reasonableman]

Yes, you're crazy. It wasn't really magic you know, it was God, and then there was some magic. I think the real question is, what the hell were the aliens doing there?

Uuummm, uuurrr... Chillin' with the Mayans? Or Inca? Or Aztec? Or whatever the hell south-central-American civilization you'd like them to be hangin' with?

[Captain Awful]

Uuummm, uuurrr... Chillin' with the Mayans? Or Inca? Or Aztec? Or whatever the hell south-central-American civilization you'd like them to be hangin' with?

Aliens don't chill.

[Farvana]

What are you talkin' about? Doesn't get much colder than space. They chill PLENTY.

[Soyvoyage]

Aliens don't chill.

They VAPOURISE. (Apparently with knowledge.)